God is an ever-present help in times of trouble, yes? I place my faith in that right now. In the first two weeks of school, I kept thinking to myself, “Gosh this is easy… it’s like high school and camp combined!” Of course, in the back of my mind, I knew there would have to be a time when the switch was flipped, but I was trying not to think about it. The cliche that goes, “hindsight is 20/20″ is cliche for a reason. Because it’s true.
So the switch has definitely been flipped. I’ve been losing my focus lately and have kind of stumbled academically. I knew I’d be hitting snags sooner or later, but I was hoping it’d be later. I came home early so that I can catch up. High school was intense at times, but never in my life have I had four papers to write, two tests to review for, and other medial homework added on top of that. They say high school is supposed to prepare you for college, but I don’t think it does.
Add on top of that the fact that I feel like I’m back in middle school with all of the drama going on lately, and you had a recipe for disaster. This morning I called my mom and told her I could force myself to make it through today but that I needed to come home early or there was going to be a break. I guess the bonus, and the surprise, in that is that I can now see it coming and try and side-step it before it takes hold of me.
It’s weird to me now that I might be transforming into the girl I always envied in high school. The bubbly, outgoing one with a billion friends. The truth is that it can be a lonely life. As I said once, “I’m a pastor’s kid; fake smiles and feigned interest are my specialty.” But that’s just it. For most of my friends, the interest isn’t feigned. I love my friends… they’re truly incredible. And I feel so blessed that I finally get to say that. No one has any idea. When I came to Spring Arbor, I didn’t HAVE any friends. I had my family. Now God has blessed me beyond what I can even imagine.
So why is it that I focus on the bad? I hate this class, I’m sick of homework, I don’t want to do this or that, I’m tired, I’m exhausted… blah blah blah. What the crap?!? I’m such an ungrateful brat sometimes. God has poured Himself out over me and I keep complaining. So my goal over the next thirty days is to eradicate as much complaining from my life as I can. Ideally, all of it. I’m sick of being negative. It holds me back. And nothing’s going to hold me back anymore!
There’s my resolution. Had to put that out there. 
God is a safe place to hide, ready to help when we need him.
We stand fearless at the cliff-edge of doom,
courageous in seastorm and earthquake,
Before the rush and roar of oceans,
the tremors that shift mountains. Psalm 46:1-3, Message
