The Great Romance.

Where have you been? Why can’t I hear you? Why can’t I see you? What have I done?

My lovely daughter, you have walked away. I called for you. I only want to walk with you and talk awhile. To be present where you are.Why did you go?

I was afraid of you. Look at what I’ve done. Look at these mistakes.

I am bigger than the mistakes.

I know that. But why can’t I live like I know that? All I want is to not make any mistakes anymore. I want to be fully devoted and wholly committed to you. Why is that so hard?

Because I am not the only one who longs for you. But I am the only one who longs to give you life.

Why do I keep running away from you?

Why don’t you answer that?

I think… I’m afraid of you. I’m afraid of the changes I know that you bring. It’s easier to ignore you.

Of course it is. When you ignore me, you don’t have to accept responsibility for your actions.

Right. I can run. I don’t have to feel bad for making mistakes.

Why do you “feel bad” when you make mistakes and tell me about them?

Because I should have known better.

Do you think I’m too small to forgive? Do you think that I condemn? Who am I to you, my beautiful child?

I think I have who you are to me right now and who I WANT you to be. Right now, I see condemnation. I see guilt. I see my mistakes and what I have done and how it contradicts your purposes for me. And then I see who I want you to be. My strength, my song, my delight, my salvation, my hope.

Please don’t believe the lies about me. What has shown you that I bring condemnation or guilt? Do my words not, in fact, directly contradict that? Those are LIES. Meant to keep you from me. They mustn’t be believed. I see opportunity in you, my daughter. Beauty beyond compare. Possibility and hope. Will you run WITH me and not AWAY from me? Trust me? Give me a chance and stick with me?

I want to stand. Stand on your promises. Stand strong. Move forward. Reach up. I want to be completely revolutionized. Ruined by your grace. Never the same. And I want people to see the difference. Not to see me, but to see you IN me. I am sick of me.

I can fix that. I can take the pieces, I can take the brokenness… and I can give you purpose beyond what you could fathom. But you have to let me in. I cannot repair what is broken when I am being kept out. Do not hold your arms out to me unless it is to embrace me.  I do so long to embrace you. 

Why me?

Why not you? 

Because I always run away from you.

There will always be ebb and flow, always. Days of harvest and abundance, and days of desert and little rain. Do you acknowledge me in the desert? Do you declare my name in The Valley of Baca? Or do you disavow all knowledge of me? Do you become Peter? Because you will never be in days of plenty for every day of your life, the rest of your life.

I don’t want to forsake you just because I can’t feel you.

Then don’t. Humble yourself. Cherish the times that we share when your heart overflows, submit yourself to daily obedience when you feel dry. And trust that I am here. Always ready to welcome you back. I love you beyond comprehension.